Dispatch from the Front


By San Francisco Gate Newsletter columnist Mark Morford:


I cannot imagine not being able to walk into a nice clean well-lit store staffed by friendly funky well-informed employees with interesting haircuts and walk out with an armful of friendly dildos.

I cannot imagine not being able to walk right in on any given Christian Sunday to Good Vibrations here in the City (or Toys in Babeland in Seattle or the Hustler store in LA or any number of other such clean 'n' decent 'n' prurient storefronts around the land) and stock up on sex lotions and potions and gadgets and gizmos on a whim, on a second date, on a weekend, before Valentine's Day, on Easter, on Christmas, just for the hell of it or because the SO winkingly suggested it or the giddy carnal urges demanded it or because I needed to buy sexy birthday gifts or just because my supplies were running low and I have yet to install that in-bedroom three-gallon Astroglide wall pump.

I cannot, in other words, imagine living in Alabama. Or Texas. Or Louisiana. Or Georgia. Or Tennessee. Or in any of the handful of terrified and morally convulsive states where they prohibit such activities, where the selling of "genital stimulating devices" is outright illegal and deeply dreaded.

And stores that sell such nightmare devices are declared a threat to the community and a hazard to the soul and a sure sign of the devil and if you are caught selling a vibrator or using a dildo you could get 10 years in prison and/or be condemned to live in Alabama for the rest of your life.


Last updated on March 15, 2005,  by Anders R. Sterner. Entire site Copyright 2005 Anders R. Sterner. All rights reserved. You may copy anything herein for your personal use; no part hereof may be used for any commercial purpose.